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The Birth of WinterRose – April 28th 2010

Posted on May 5, 2010

*at a certain point, the details get fuzzy. I’m sure Teri can correct me. Or tell me that I am nuts and making this alllllll up *

Around noon on Tuesday I started to have some mild contractions. They were very irregular, ranging from 8 minutes apart to 20 minutes apart. I tried to stay active. Bounce on my ball, go for walks but they weren’t getting closer together. They were actually slowing down.

I hadn’t sleep much the night before so around 5pm I decided to lay down. Ben hung out with Grey and I was able to sleep pretty well.

I woke up close to 7pm and started having contractions again. I thought it might go the same as earlier, so I didn’t get too excited. My mom decided to come over to wait, instead of waiting at home. I started timing and they were 10 minutes apart for about 30 minutes and then got increasingly closer together. Around 11:30 I called Teri to let her know that it might be a good idea to head this way.

Around midnight, the contractions were 2 to 3 minutes apart and I felt like it was time to head to the hospital. We called Teri to have her meet us there instead of the house. When we got to Kaiser we went through the whole triage rigmarole and found that I was 4cm dilated and could be admitted.

After being admitted, I had my IV put in so I could have my antibiotics since I am GBS+. The contractions were pretty strong, but I was handling them well. I was still laughing and joking. I remember at one point saying, “Someone should update facebook and let everyone know how awesome I am.”

Soon though, it got hard for me to find a position that offered any relief. I was checked internally and was “only 5 to 6″. I was instantly deflated and saddened. I thought I would be much farther along.

Around 4:15am, Teri suggested getting in the shower. Unfortunately, the nurses wanted to monitor Winter for 2 contractions but were having trouble getting her monitored because I was “moving too much”. While standing by the side of the bed, with the monitors on, I suddenly heard and felt a POP! I thought it was Winter kicking, but then *gush*…my water had broken. I used the F word and a few other choice words. Very soon after that I was 9 CM. Most of what I remember was feeling completely animalistic and making noises that I didn’t even know I was capable of making.

I was on hands and knees on the bed, using the head of the bed as support. I was told at this point that I was complete and could push. So I did.

I don’t remember WHY I flipped to my back, but when I did I was checked again and found that I was actually still only at 9cm and was instructed to NOT PUSH. uh….I couldn’t not push! I was told to breath through the contractions, which were long and hard and only about 45 seconds apart…if that. Again, i was making noises that almost scared me. Mostly low and gutteral.

I decided to go ahead and get a dose of fentanyl in the hopes that it would help me relax a little and let my cervix get to 10. It didn’t help. I was at the point that I had feared all through my pregnancy and i felt like I would not make it through. I don’t know what I thought would happen but I felt like I could not take much more of what I was going through. Then I was told that I had swollen a bit and was back to 8cm. At this point, I opted to get an epidural. I needed it, in order to relax and get back to 10, because with every contraction I was trying not to push, but pushing little pushes and I could not help myself.

The Epi was ordered and it was going to be about 30 minutes before it could be administered. I kept apologizing to everyone and felt like I was letting everyone down. I was scared. I also questioned how in the hell I was going to hold still long enough to have the epidural put in.

And then…just a few minutes after agreeing to an epidural and being told I would have to wait about 30 minutes…Winter was being born. I don’t know why or how I felt the difference, but I just knew that this contraction was different. I said that she was coming and asked for that to be confirmed. 2 contractions and 3 pushes later, at 6:26am, WinterRose Elizabeth was born!

I could not believe it. I DID IT! with the exception of a dose of fentanyl, which did *nothing*, I had birthed my baby with out pain meds. The experience was SO different from what I went through with Grey. It was by far the most intense experience of my entire life. I am still in awe. I do not consider myself to be a strong person and i had so many doubts…but I did it!

My friend Michelle was on hand to take some pictures. The pictures are great, but I’m not quite ready to share the more intense labor photos. For now, here are some post birth photos. Taken by Teri. Then more photos taken by Benny and by myself.